I'amour
by Deeplove
Summary: She was a child and I was a child/In this kingdom by the sea/But we loved with a love that was more than love/


_Love__ noun \ˈləv\_

_: a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person_

_: attraction that includes sexual desire : the strong affection felt by people who have a romantic relationship_

_: a person you love in a romantic way_

* * *

For the first time in his life; Marcus was jealous. He was jealous of humans – or rather their ability to_ sleep_. He and his "brothers" had attempted to do this once; staying essentially in a state of limbo for a century. This had only resulted in their appearance gaining an unnatural etch of spider webs across their skin and irises, as if they were covered in chalk. The effect had refused to fade. No matter. Marcus had abandoned vanity long ago.

"Marcus" A sweet voice caressed his ears; a voice that he knew so well. It was the only voice that could make him feel alive – and that could make him feel like he wanted to die.

He could feel her presence; despite not seeing her. That was a pleasure she never gave him, instead a flash of gold ringlet there, peach colored lips pressed against his, or a soft stroke of her fingers against his temple. She had come to tease him, as she did each and every night. The delicate scent of roses caressed his senses; a haze of euphoria wrapping itself about him.

If only he could sleep. Then he could escape from this world of madness, of grief, of shame. Why did she insist on torturing him? There wasn't anything that Marcus could do. The same Marcus who had been pronounced "Saint Marcus", the same Marcus who humans worshipped, the same Marcus who was at the seat of power and who vampires trembled before could do nothing.

If only –

_She could be with him once more. _

"Leave me." He commanded stiffly. He wouldn't say her name, not even in a whisper too low for the rest of the world to hear. No, he had sworn millenniums ago never to say her name. That was a luxury he would never allow himself to indulge in. This was his cross to bear. She had died while he lived. It was the worst betrayal that could occur between lovers.

No one would ever understand it. No human or vampire or werewolf alone would be able to comprehend the depth of emotions that had existed between them, like a sea of passion. The closest thing akin to it was the feelings that a human may have towards their "God". It was a love that was a sing all by itself; something that threatened to inhale them and never let them go until it gripped their very soul in its hold. No, no one would ever understand that.

A soft knock on the door drew his attention away from his thoughts. Marcus inhaled in irritation, the haze quickly fading from about him.

_That_ woman had arrived.

Why had he called her there? He hadn't. Rather it had been his beloved brother in law Aro's idea to summon her. It was the least distasteful idea that Aro had had in a century or two. Marcus had refused to see any soul in two months, clinging to the shadows of his room. Aro had promptly announced that she could help him, whispering his idea on the other side of the door three weeks prior. The gentle scent of butterscotch infiltrated the room as the wooden door creaked open.

"Esme"

"Marcus" Esme stepped further into the room, twelve steps remaining between them. She was a fairly petite woman; despite being a neat 5'6. Crossing her arms over her chest, she nibbled on her bottom lip. Her caramel colored hair was arranged in a gentle bun; a few curly strands framing her face. The rest of her features were bland to him; unappealing for Marcus to take notice of. Until she raised her head to look upon him; her brilliantly gold orbs meeting his.

It was a change; not seeing burning red irises. Besides the human Gianna who worked for them, it had been a bit since Marcus had seen one's eyes that weren't red, aside from months prior when they had gone to meet the Cullen's coven to discuss the child. The effects of eating a "vegetarian" diet caused their kind's eyes to become a golden color, having a vibrant depth to them unlike the flat, predator like eyes of Marcus and his brothers.

Marcus paused, sliding his gaze to rest on the woman once more. He had seen those eyes before. They held compassion; unrelenting and unbearable love for anyone and anything that was granted access to her heart. It was the same look that _her_ crimson orbs had held.

"Close your eyes." He demanded harshly; forcing the words to emerge from his throat. Weakness was not something that he would tolerate, especially in himself. Startled, Esme hesitated a moment before obediently closing her eyes.

"You are not afraid of me?"

"You saved my family." Hesitating for a moment, Esme smiled kindly. "They mean the world to me. I could never be afraid of you, Marcus."

"Such affection is rare among our kind." Marcus snapped in reply, hunching forwards slightly. "Why?"

It was undeniable that there was a strong bond between all the members of the coven Carlisle had created. Even Marcus who held such a dim view of the relationships between others could see this. The bonds that Esme had towards the members of the coven were the strongest, ringing true with absolute love.

"Carlisle – when Carlisle turned me, I was in love with him. I fell in love with him before he changed me, when I first met him at sixteen. I was so happy when I awoke to see him, to find that we were mates." Drawing a breath, Esme's tone was filled with wonder. "I wasn't afraid when he told me what I – what we are. Our thirst is a sign of a beast inside of us. But no cruel beast could be as caring or sweet as Carlisle."

Having gone quiet; Marcus realized that her attention was drifting. This was common among their kind, often becoming distracted by stray memories or vague thoughts. Especially for Marcus who preferred to live in the past instead of the present.

"And your own beast?"

"Carlisle inspired me." Venom trickled down Esme's cheeks; a vampire's way of producing tears. "I always wanted to have children. That is how I see Edward, Bella, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper. But to be a proper mother to them, I wanted to be like Carlisle. If I…if I didn't learn how to control myself, forming bonds with my children would be impossible."

"And Bree?"

Esme sucked in a breath, tilting her head downwards. She raised her quivering hand to wipe the tears from her cheeks. This intrigued Marcus. A bond seemed to be there; despite the young newborn having been destroyed months ago. The woman would have barely spent an hour with her and yet had formed a connection with her?

"She would have been my child also i-if the outcome had been different." _If Jane hadn't allowed Bree to be killed._

"Interesting. Your children, tell me about them."

Nodding his head for her to continue; a dry hint of a smile brushed across his lips. Certainly he had heard about her "children" before, especially the talented and much coveted Edward and Alice.

"Since Edward was my first child – I couldn't help but spend decades worrying about him. It was such a relief when he met Bella, when he finally was happy. Even – even content with this life." Esme beamed, warmth filling her voice. "Especially now with Nessie. It was very hard on Edward, not finding his mate when all of his siblings had."

'Mon trésor' _she_ had always called him that. Venom pooled in Marcus's mouth as he swallowed dryly. She had christened him with a nickname; a name that endeared him entirely to her. While he had been her treasure, she had been his meaning of existence. She had been the root of his happiness and the stars that illuminated his sleepless nights.

"I think that Rosalie needs Emmett more than she knows. When Carlisle first changed Rosalie, she was meant for Edward. She is…misunderstood by others because she tries to push them away." She faltered for a moment, having admitted the truth about her daughter. "Yet she let Emmett in. He's like a loyal puppy, always trailing behind her, never leaving her side. He can always make her laugh."

Marcus was slightly surprised by this. Esme did seem to have a mother's intuition about the members of the coven, sensing the same cracks and strengths in the relationships between the children that he had seen. The cold one couldn't keep herself from opening to her mate; as much as she might have disliked it.

"Jasper…I worry about him. He tries so hard to control his thirst; yet when he wants to falter, he doesn't turn to us for help. He locks himself away, withdrawing his emotions. Jasper doesn't seem to know that he has a place in our family." Clearly she was hurt by this fact, coven meaning the world to her. Or rather her coven was her world. "At least he has Alice. She inspires him like Carlisle inspired me."

Staying absolutely still on his throne, Marcus's eyes narrowed. The warmth radiating from her words; from the bonds that existed between them made him feel what he hadn't felt in centuries. _He felt jealous._

"You say family – you belong to a coven. We don't have families." Marcus abruptly interjected; his pupils darkening. How could this woman unsettle him so? _Because she had what he and his love had planned for themselves._

"They are my family, my sons and my daughters, and my husband. I love them." A frown fluttered across her lips. "Have you ever felt that? Love?"

Oh yes, he had known such feelings, hadn't he? A low growl slipped through his lips; filling the air. How dare she go this far. Was Esme mocking him? No, sincerity rang true with her. It was the other woman, his woman, his mate. This was her way of punishing him for not protecting her. This was the future that he had lost with her death. It had died with her.

"F-Forgive me."

Raising his hand towards her in warning, Marcus closed his eyes slowly. His mate had always had a sense of humor. Yet it had never been cruel. She had always loved seeing others smile; especially in the rare moments when he had coaxed a smile or chuckle from him. Her chief complaint had always been that Marcus wasn't happy enough. Was this her way of wanting him to heal?

It would be like her to do this. He would never let her go. But it seemed as if she wanted him to let her go. As if she wanted him to go on with his life that held no meaning to him without her existence in it.

"_Didyme_" He breathed as he whispered her name, too quietly for even Esme to hear. Marcus could feel the bond between them withering away. Instead of feeling pain at this realization, he felt a craving as if he were finally awakening from his grief. Could it be possible?

It was rare that a vampire ever changed from their patterns. Once they changed, their habits or passions as a human would turn into obsessions. Their personality would be set; it would never evolve. Blind to the world, Marcus had haplessly clung to a life he didn't want to live. But now – now he craved _warmth_.

He could sense it. Many times he had seen the bonds, the shackles that existed between people. After her death, he had never formed a new bond with anyone, as much as Aro had been keen to see Marcus show even an inkling of emotion towards someone, or _anyone_.

"Ties are forming between us." He stated simply; not seeing the need to elaborate with the poetic details a love sick poet would have. No, Saint Marcus would not be made into a lovesick fool. "Esme"

"Yes?"

"Stay. Tell me more about love."

* * *

_I just wanted to thank anyone who is reading this. It means a lot to me, much more than I could ever put into words. If you feel like it, I would love to hear what you think about this piece!_

_I apologize if Marcus seems a bit OOC - I tried my best to keep him acting the same as he would in the series, aside from when he changes due to a personal revelation._

_Also, I wanted to explain something about the title. I'amour translates to "love" in French. However when mispronounced incorrectly, it can sound like la mort - "Death" in French. After writing this story, I think the title fits!_


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